So I tried for some ‘no retreat no surrender’ parody, and that’s what I came up with, hence my career fixing computers, not writing.
Anyhoo, I’m here. On retreat. At kripalu. It is Saturday night and what a long weird day it was. Hiked, yoga’ed, meditated, shopped, ate, drank too much coffee, talked to strange and interesting people, none of whom wanted to talk much. I walked around a labrynth. I breathed. One at a time. I got a back ache and my ass hurts still. I did yoga asanas I’d never heard of and almost got my face bashed in by a fallng amazon woman. I met Noah Levine, author of Dharma Punx and Against the Stream. I said “oh hi, nice to meet you.” he said, “you too.” Isnt that a great story?
I met a Wiccan Buddhist with anger issues who lives 5 minutes away from me.
I ate breakfast in silence. And dinner, but not lunch.
I drank weird teas.
I took two showers.
I did not attain enlightenment.
I did half hour walking meditation. Insight meditation. I radiated loving kindness and compassion to all living beings in the tri-state area.
I sat in a reading room and wrote a blog on my iPhone.
Not bad for one day. I wonder what’ll happen tomorrow.
…is not just a list of bullshit he has done in the past… oh wait, yeah I guess it is. Here’s the complete discography. I don’t have tracklists because I only wrote it all down once, and then gave them away. And I don’t have copies of all of these. Anyone out there have anything to contribute? Here’s the list as I could remember it three years ago, plus the new three.
Vol — Title
1 — Precious Roy’s Angry as Fuck, Kick Your Face’s Ass Mix
2 — Precious Roy Returns with a Cache of Homemade Nuclear Weapons
3 — Precious Roy Goes Back on His Medication
4 — Buckfutter — Precious Roy Live at Jesus Ranch
5 — Precious Roy Chuckles in the Face of Death
6 — Precious Roy Unmasked!
7 — Precious Roy Goes AWOL
8 — Precious Roy – I’m Destroying the World
9 — Precious Roy Remembers the 80’s (But Not Much Since Then) (2-CDs)
10 – Precious Roy – Hardcore
11 – Precious Roy – Get Old or Die Tryin’
12 – Precious Roy – Country Church
13 – Precious Roy – New.World.Odor
14 – Precious Roy – September
15 – Precious Roy – The Brotherhood of the Grape
16 – Precious Roy – Tibetan Downhill
17 – Precious Roy’s Slow Descent
18 – Precious Roy – Wages of Sin
19 – Precious Roy’s Third Farewell Tour
You camped out in line for the last two months in the heat and rain. You threw yours and others undergarments at his window at all hours. And now you shall be rewarded little droogies, with setlist info for the latest release from the reclusive mixer. And if you didn’t receive your copy, either your subscription has not been renewed or you better make with the undergarments. They’re not gonna throw themselves. See you next time.
Precious Roy’s Third Farewell Tour
1. Gravity Ruins Everything – Modest Mouse
2. Living Well is the Best Revenge – R.E.M.
3. Chemtrails – Beck
4. Where I End and You Begin – Radiohead
5. Oxford Comma – Vampire Weekend
6. Bang On – The Breeders
7. Discipline – Nine Inch Nails
8. Second Chance – Liam Finn
9. Everything is Average Nowadays – Kaiser Chiefs
10. Jambi – Tool
11. Soma – The Strokes
12. A-Punk – Vampire Weekend
13. Bulls On Parade – Rage Against the Machine
14. Modern Guilt – Beck
15. Viva la Vida – Coldplay
16. Iris – The Breeders
17. Bangers & Mash – Radiohead
18. The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning – Smashing Pumpkins
19. Suture Up Your Future – Queens of the Stone Age
This was not my first Radiohead show. It was my second. I bet not too many can say they had two more radically different experiences. First show was in 1993. Creep was just starting to get heavy rotation on the radio. I went out and bought Pablo Honey because Radiohead was listed as the opening act for the Belly show I had tickets to. I liked it, a lot. So I caught the entire half hour or so where they played about all of Pablo Honey. I won’t lie, I was there to see Tanya Donnelly who I was madly in love with. The most memorable thing about that night though, was Belly’s second encore. It was only one song, Tanya came out with just her acoustic guitar and Thom Yorke. He sang the backup harmony with her on Untogether. It made me weep. Maybe they wouldn’t be a one hit wonder, maybe.
The show wednesday night was not for a very casual kind of fan I wouldn’t think. (does radiohead have casual fans?) It wasn’t a greatest hits retrospective. Thank god. It was, from what I’ve gathered since, not uncommon of what they do on tour. If you were hoping to hear your favorite track from their new record, you were not disappointed. They played all ten. That was just fine with me, I love the new record like fat kid loves cake. Gimmie gimmie. OK, so to be honest again, I would trade you a Videotape or a House of Cards for anything from Hail to the Thief, but no, let me not go there. At the end here is the track list. Judge for yourself. A few things jumped out at me from their selections. First, wow, all of In Rainbows. But also, wow, a whoooole lot of Kid A. If you told me that in advance I would have winced. But live, oh man let me tell you, those Kid A tracks were fucking amazing. National Anthem, Everything in its right place, Optimistic. All amazing.
Also, they kind of abandon the band they were the first time I saw them. They played not one song from Pablo Honey, and only the one from The Bends. Again, I am totally ok with that. The Bends sounded great, but at the same time weird and out of place.
They played the songs I love. Precious Roy was well represented. And how would they end this show, I thought. A band with so many killer end songs. Wolf at the door? They played it, fucking amazing, but that wasn’t the end. Turned out to be Idioteque, which was very surprising at the time, considering all the possibilities. But that is their genius.
One of my favorite things about them has to be the real passion they have for their own music. It’s perfectly clear at all times. Thom Yorke loves the shit as much as we do. He flails like a retarded child, just like us. What really brought that home was Faust Arp, the chilling and sweet love song. He got about three lines into it and got all choked up, had to stop singing, a pained look on his face. He picked it up on the second verse. Sounds like nothing, but it was striking. And really that’s what they sound like, they play like they mean it.
If I had video, if I could share any of it with you, and had to pick one thing, it would be Exit Music. I love that song to death, and watching them do it totally floored me. There are few things I can compare it to: seeing NIN do Hurt that first time in 95, Morphine doing In Spite of Me, Donnelly and York doing Untogether. That’s about it. It was that good. It was out-of-body, don’t-wake-me, did-someone-slip-something-into-my-drink good.
Waiting two hours to get out of the fucking parking lot kinda brought me down to earth in an unpleasant way. But still, it was one of the best concerts I’ve ever seen. Shame on me for letting so many years pass in between.
This was the end of my summer concert tour, and oh what a summer it was. The Breeders made a glorious comeback, if you don’t have their new album, go out and steal it immediately. They rocked. As did REM and Modest Mouse in the rain and lightening. Then it was Nine Inch Nails just last week. Great as ever. Better than ever. My favorite bands all summer leading to this week, my favorite band as a finale. Some glorious nights.
Setlist:
01. Reckoner
02. Optimistic
03. There There
04. 15 Step
05. Kid A
06. Nude
07. All I Need
08. The Gloaming
09. The National Anthem
10. Videotape
11. Jigsaw Falling Into Place
12. The Bends
13. Faust Arp
14. Weird Fishes/ Arpeggi
15. Everything In Its Right Place
16. Exit Music
17. Bodysnatchers
Encore 1
18. House of Cards
19. I Might Be Wrong
20. Paranoid Android
21. A Wolf At The Door
22. How To Disappear Completely
Encore 2:
23. Cymbal Rush
24. Karma Police
25. Idioteque
I’m thinking of legally changing my name to Sven Golly. Whaddya think? I think it’s catchy. oh wait, i just listened to this again, and i need to print it. Because it’s great when you hear it performed by George Carlin, but great on a different level when you read it.
“I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I’ve got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!
I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.
I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-child that sends me hate mail.
But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing– a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.
I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore–no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin in, there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin tough, over and out!”
Just yoinked the wordpress app for the old OiPhone. I’m blogging from work motherflipper! So, yeah, I’ll be writing more. Hopefully. Oh, and Hi! Wish you were here!
Who’s that Spartan licking my balls?? It’s you! It’s you!
At least we win these sucky ass bowl games we get to every year. 8 in a row, and some revenge for those midwestern cocksmokers who cost us the Hockey national championship back in April. Yes, I’m bitter. How would you feel if your team got to the title game two years in a row. And lost. In the last minute of the game. Both times. ?
…but has anyone seen Dennis Kucinich’s wife. He has my vote for Emperor. I am going to spend the rest of the week building an altar and making burnt offerings to him.
Did I just see a song by Perry Ferrell, 50 Cent and Kelly Roland? A football song, the Saturday Night Football Song? Or am I hallucinating? Did I leave my quinoa out too long? That was fucking weird.
I can’t believe Brent Musberger is calling this game. He is such a toolbag, and all I can think about is The Waterboy.
This is what I hate about this ranking bullshit. Can we go half a minute without talking about LSU and their last second win. I don’t give a fuck. LSU is snapping at their heals? well great, except we’re playing Florida State right now. And every incomplete pass Matt Ryan throws brings into question his Heisman status. Jesus, do I have to watch this game with the sound off too?
Florida State cheerleaders are fat. With an “f”.
need some music right here
ok, so we’re about to lose this abortion of a fucking game. and all these assbags can talk about is that they’re celebrating in Louisiana. Really? That’s the big story here? That’s what we want to hear about? Not how FSU played, or how BC shit the bed? Nope, what’s important is how this affects fucking LSU. This fucking sucks. Eat a bag of dicks Brent Musberger.
